So, I’ve run out of Gossip Girl episodes.  Battlestar Galactica is not so surprisingly sucking it halfway through season three. (Though, I am now fully convinced that Barack Obama is the 12th cylon.) What’s next?

While visiting my normal geek sites, I saw an advertisement for the French horror flick Frontier(s).  French torture porn.  Sounds intriguing, right? Well, it’s also directed by the guy who was unofficially fired from the Timothy Olyphant action flick Hitman because the cut he turned in to Fox was “too violent.” AND Frontier(s) was booted from After Dark Horrorfest 2007 when the MPAA slapped it with the scarlet letter of the ratings world, an NC-17.  Intriguing indeed.

Well, Frontier(s), you have been promoted to the top of my NetFlix queue.  Do Godard proud and get me to vomit by the end of the film. If I make a little modern art all over my living room floor, you will once again prove that the French do it better.

I’m weak. I know this. But it’s still surprising how strong my urge to go clothes shopping was after watching 11 episodes of Gossip Girl.

Now, I hate shopping. I hate shopping as much as George W. Bush hates black people. I hate it. Yet, having discovered how woefully inadequate my wardrobe is after watching Brooklyn and the guys of the Upper East Side angst around NYC, I quickly developed the need to spend money I don’t have to spend.

Congrats CW on making my buy shit I don’t need. Now if you just allowed Target to dress those kids in Gossip Girl, maybe we could buy some of the clothes they wear, and you could actually make some cash for a little product integration. Cell phones aren’t enough to turn a profit, guys.

xoxo The Film Chair

I just signed up for TheWB.com, Warner’s new Hulu-inspired streaming video website, with the hope that I’ll finally get a chance to re-watch the WB’s Everwood series, seasons two through four. (Those seasons are unavailable on DVD because Warner won’t shell out the cash to pay music royalties.) I haven’t received registration information yet, and like the Hulu beta, I’m sure it will take a few days. The problem is, when I am registered, I’ll have one more way to watch TV without having cable.

Between the network TV websites, TV shows on DVD, new sites like Hulu and The WB, and other…ahem…unofficial Internet distribution channels, that old lie I like to tell myself - I don’t watch TV - is becoming less and less true. Sure, I’m not watching cable or network broadcasts, but my laptop is working overtime. Plus, I’m going to burn out another DVD player marathoning entire series like Battlestar Galactica.

So, I’m not technically watching TV. But I sure am consuming a lot of programming.

I’m not the only one getting my fix via the Internet. Some TV shows, like the now canceled Jericho and Gossip Girl, are bigger hits on the Internet than they ever were on broadcast TV. Residuals not for DVD sales, but rather for new media content was one of the big sticking points in the writers strike and will be again in the impending actors strike (along with host of other issues, of course).

But that’s the bigger issue. I’m more worried about me and my growing addiction to TV not on TV. After this week, I can admit it. I have a problem. I’ve watched almost the entire Battlestar Galactica series, have found Gossip Girl online, and am still making my weekly trips to streaming sites to watch Lost and 30 Rock. Access to BSG and GG are the bigger problems. With DVD and new media, it’s easy to wait for a series to run its course and watch every episode back to back to back to back. There’s no waiting a week for the next episode. There are no breaks. TV not on TV completely changes the relationship you have with a show.

When Everwood first aired in 2002, there was an anticipation of the next week’s episode. I was developing a long, unpredictable, but ultimately fulfilling relationship with the program. There was a courtship. There were ups and down. There were times I thought that I would text message breakup with Ephram and Amy. “Srry, this arc isnt workin 4 me.” But I didn’t. I persevered.

Now I’m having quick, passionate love affairs with programs. I don’t care about so much about the ups and downs because I’m just in it for a quicky. I can skip the bad stuff if I want to. More often than not, I ignore those moments, knowing that it’s not about caring for the characters, but rather getting to the exciting climax.

TV not on TV you are fun and spontaneous. That’s for sure. However, it may be time to sit down and have a talk. We have to take this relationship seriously. I really, really like you. Can we take take this to the next level? If we can’t, TV not on TV, it may be time to call it quits. Hopefully, it won’t come to that. If it does, though, I just want you to know this: It’s not you. It’s me.

Iron Man (2008)–***1/2 

Iron Man isn’t high art, but it certainly is high entertainment. It’s a savvy, slick summer film that all Hollywood blockbusters should aspire to emulate.

So few May-to-August action-taculars even try anymore, going through the CGI-driven motions or trying to discover their inner art film/soap opera. Iron Man, it turns out, is great because there is a dearth of movies like it – movies with the notion that sometimes entertainment doesn’t have to be overdone or over thought in order to be spectacular.

Oh, and Iron Man is a superhero movie. I mention that because while watching the most recent Marvel Comics adaptation I nearly forgot that it existed in a world — and a genre — outside the movie I was watching. Much of the credit can be given to Robert Downey, Jr., who may well have given the first Oscar-worthy performance in a superhero flick playing the gazillionare, genius, military industrialist, playboy Tony Stark.

Stark and his company Stark Industries have made a fortune from selling military technology that is used all over the world. Somehow (wink) those weapons end up in the hands of Afghan insurgents who attack the military convoy escorting Stark from a test of his newest weapons system in the country’s mountains. He survives the attack, but is captured and forced to work with fellow prisoner and native engineer Yinsen (Shaun Toub) to recreate this new missile.

During the attack, Stark’s body was pelted with shrapnel from a Stark Industries-built weapon. Yinsen builds an electro-magnetic device that must be hooked up to an energy source to keep the shrapnel from killing Stark. Yinsen, he tells Stark, knows about the deadly shrapnel because he’s seen it kill people in his homeland. With access to loads of technology and resources thanks to the insurgents want of a weapons system, Stark makes his own, self-sustaining energy source, along with a high-tech suit of armor. The insurgents have a bad day, Yinsen is unfortunately killed, and Stark makes a daring escape.

Upon his return home, Stark vows to quit selling military technology and to protect the people from the weapons his company built. On a forced leave of absence from the company thanks to Stark Industries’ ambitious Obadiah Stane (Jeff Bridges), Tony builds himself an upgraded version of the suit, with a little hot rod red to match his personality. But when Stark discovers Stane is more than just gunning for his job, the real battle begins.

Iron Man is the first film independently produced by Marvel Studios. Oddly, it’s only the second Marvel production to successfully break out of its genre and work on a purely cinematic level. The other film, X2: X-Men United, contains a more harrowing story, a notion Iron Man never seeks to entertain. Instead, Swingers director Jon Favreau and lead actor Downey address the dramatics with a wink and a nudge. And it works.

It’s been five years since any summer movie has succeeded in the same way Iron Man does. With little pretense and a commitment to shear cinematic delight, Pirates of the Caribbean surprised audiences. Its unexpected freshness and one commanding leading man, Johnny Depp, resulted in the must see film of summer 2003. Thanks to Robert Downey, Jr., whose arrogant, glib Tony Stark changes more in principle than he appears to change in habit, we are able to indulge in a character that thrives of being the center on attention.

Downey isn’t the only surprising cast member in Iron Man, though. As Pepper Potts, Stark’s dutiful assistant, Gwyneth Paltrow goes toe-to-toe with Downey, and often comes out on top. Combine her performance with those of Terrence Howard, as Stark confidant Jim Rhodes, and Bridges, and you get a comic book movie that is cast like a Hollywood prestige picture. For Marvel Studios, Iron Man is a picture to be proud of, one that we can only hope will encourage more films like it.