Consumer Whoring

Gossip Girl, Personal Notes No Comments

I’m weak. I know this. But it’s still surprising how strong my urge to go clothes shopping was after watching 11 episodes of Gossip Girl.

Now, I hate shopping. I hate shopping as much as George W. Bush hates black people. I hate it. Yet, having discovered how woefully inadequate my wardrobe is after watching Brooklyn and the guys of the Upper East Side angst around NYC, I quickly developed the need to spend money I don’t have to spend.

Congrats CW on making my buy shit I don’t need. Now if you just allowed Target to dress those kids in Gossip Girl, maybe we could buy some of the clothes they wear, and you could actually make some cash for a little product integration. Cell phones aren’t enough to turn a profit, guys.

xoxo The Film Chair

TV not on TV, We Need to Talk

Commentary, TV not on TV No Comments

I just signed up for TheWB.com, Warner’s new Hulu-inspired streaming video website, with the hope that I’ll finally get a chance to re-watch the WB’s Everwood series, seasons two through four. (Those seasons are unavailable on DVD because Warner won’t shell out the cash to pay music royalties.) I haven’t received registration information yet, and like the Hulu beta, I’m sure it will take a few days. The problem is, when I am registered, I’ll have one more way to watch TV without having cable.

Between the network TV websites, TV shows on DVD, new sites like Hulu and The WB, and other…ahem…unofficial Internet distribution channels, that old lie I like to tell myself - I don’t watch TV - is becoming less and less true. Sure, I’m not watching cable or network broadcasts, but my laptop is working overtime. Plus, I’m going to burn out another DVD player marathoning entire series like Battlestar Galactica.

So, I’m not technically watching TV. But I sure am consuming a lot of programming.

I’m not the only one getting my fix via the Internet. Some TV shows, like the now canceled Jericho and Gossip Girl, are bigger hits on the Internet than they ever were on broadcast TV. Residuals not for DVD sales, but rather for new media content was one of the big sticking points in the writers strike and will be again in the impending actors strike (along with host of other issues, of course).

But that’s the bigger issue. I’m more worried about me and my growing addiction to TV not on TV. After this week, I can admit it. I have a problem. I’ve watched almost the entire Battlestar Galactica series, have found Gossip Girl online, and am still making my weekly trips to streaming sites to watch Lost and 30 Rock. Access to BSG and GG are the bigger problems. With DVD and new media, it’s easy to wait for a series to run its course and watch every episode back to back to back to back. There’s no waiting a week for the next episode. There are no breaks. TV not on TV completely changes the relationship you have with a show.

When Everwood first aired in 2002, there was an anticipation of the next week’s episode. I was developing a long, unpredictable, but ultimately fulfilling relationship with the program. There was a courtship. There were ups and down. There were times I thought that I would text message breakup with Ephram and Amy. “Srry, this arc isnt workin 4 me.” But I didn’t. I persevered.

Now I’m having quick, passionate love affairs with programs. I don’t care about so much about the ups and downs because I’m just in it for a quicky. I can skip the bad stuff if I want to. More often than not, I ignore those moments, knowing that it’s not about caring for the characters, but rather getting to the exciting climax.

TV not on TV you are fun and spontaneous. That’s for sure. However, it may be time to sit down and have a talk. We have to take this relationship seriously. I really, really like you. Can we take take this to the next level? If we can’t, TV not on TV, it may be time to call it quits. Hopefully, it won’t come to that. If it does, though, I just want you to know this: It’s not you. It’s me.

Movie Review: Iron Man (2008)

Movie Review No Comments

Iron Man (2008)–***1/2 

Iron Man isn’t high art, but it certainly is high entertainment. It’s a savvy, slick summer film that all Hollywood blockbusters should aspire to emulate.

So few May-to-August action-taculars even try anymore, going through the CGI-driven motions or trying to discover their inner art film/soap opera. Iron Man, it turns out, is great because there is a dearth of movies like it – movies with the notion that sometimes entertainment doesn’t have to be overdone or over thought in order to be spectacular.

Oh, and Iron Man is a superhero movie. I mention that because while watching the most recent Marvel Comics adaptation I nearly forgot that it existed in a world — and a genre — outside the movie I was watching. Much of the credit can be given to Robert Downey, Jr., who may well have given the first Oscar-worthy performance in a superhero flick playing the gazillionare, genius, military industrialist, playboy Tony Stark.

Stark and his company Stark Industries have made a fortune from selling military technology that is used all over the world. Somehow (wink) those weapons end up in the hands of Afghan insurgents who attack the military convoy escorting Stark from a test of his newest weapons system in the country’s mountains. He survives the attack, but is captured and forced to work with fellow prisoner and native engineer Yinsen (Shaun Toub) to recreate this new missile.

During the attack, Stark’s body was pelted with shrapnel from a Stark Industries-built weapon. Yinsen builds an electro-magnetic device that must be hooked up to an energy source to keep the shrapnel from killing Stark. Yinsen, he tells Stark, knows about the deadly shrapnel because he’s seen it kill people in his homeland. With access to loads of technology and resources thanks to the insurgents want of a weapons system, Stark makes his own, self-sustaining energy source, along with a high-tech suit of armor. The insurgents have a bad day, Yinsen is unfortunately killed, and Stark makes a daring escape.

Upon his return home, Stark vows to quit selling military technology and to protect the people from the weapons his company built. On a forced leave of absence from the company thanks to Stark Industries’ ambitious Obadiah Stane (Jeff Bridges), Tony builds himself an upgraded version of the suit, with a little hot rod red to match his personality. But when Stark discovers Stane is more than just gunning for his job, the real battle begins.

Iron Man is the first film independently produced by Marvel Studios. Oddly, it’s only the second Marvel production to successfully break out of its genre and work on a purely cinematic level. The other film, X2: X-Men United, contains a more harrowing story, a notion Iron Man never seeks to entertain. Instead, Swingers director Jon Favreau and lead actor Downey address the dramatics with a wink and a nudge. And it works.

It’s been five years since any summer movie has succeeded in the same way Iron Man does. With little pretense and a commitment to shear cinematic delight, Pirates of the Caribbean surprised audiences. Its unexpected freshness and one commanding leading man, Johnny Depp, resulted in the must see film of summer 2003. Thanks to Robert Downey, Jr., whose arrogant, glib Tony Stark changes more in principle than he appears to change in habit, we are able to indulge in a character that thrives of being the center on attention.

Downey isn’t the only surprising cast member in Iron Man, though. As Pepper Potts, Stark’s dutiful assistant, Gwyneth Paltrow goes toe-to-toe with Downey, and often comes out on top. Combine her performance with those of Terrence Howard, as Stark confidant Jim Rhodes, and Bridges, and you get a comic book movie that is cast like a Hollywood prestige picture. For Marvel Studios, Iron Man is a picture to be proud of, one that we can only hope will encourage more films like it.

A Plea to Gamers: See a Movie!

Movie Comment No Comments

Word on the street is gamers were crashing their cars through the doors of Best Buys, etc. last night to nab a copy of the video game of the year, Grand Theft Auto IV. (Note to all bosses: Your employee is not really sick today.)

The last time a game this big came out was when Halo 3 hit stores last September. The media types said that the box office suffered, down big time from the previous year and killing any chance the Farley Brothers’ The Heartbreak Kid (released a weekend later) had of making any money.

Now, I know this weekend is different. First, it’s the official opening of the summer movie season with Iron Man hitting theaters. Second, The Heartbreak Kid sucked. Still, with Grand Theft Auto IV ready to crush sales records, many (Nikki Finke) think Iron Man should be shaking like the Tin Man in the haunted forest.

I’d like to make a plea to all the gamers out there to take two hours out of your weekend to see Iron Man. Early reaction is very positive, and if there’s any chance of quality pictures being made, you have to see the good ones. Sure, Grand Theft Auto has drug-dealing, organized crime, ultra-violence, strippers, prostitutes…wait. What was I talking about? Oh, yeah. Big guy in a tin can. But he fights Afghan insurgents! If you don’t see Iron Man, then you are with the terrorists. Now, think about that.

Mom and Walter Sobchak would be proud

Big Lebowski, Personal Notes No Comments

After totally destroying (in a bad way) The Beatles and Elton John by way of Moulin Rouge at funky Chinese karaoke Saturday night, I thought I would look back on my biggest accomplishment of last week: day job bowling champion.

That’s right. All those years in youth bowling leagues finally paid off. I have not one, but two trophies adorning my cubicle. One is for highest individual score (215) and the other, for first place team. (Great work Ryan, Dan, and Jessy.)

I couldn’t have done it without my mom, who introduced me to the blue collar battle royale that is 10 pin bowling and paid for that new ball return after “the incident.” (Thank God juvi records are sealed when you turn 18.) I’d also like to thank Walter Sobchak for the enduring wisdom that guides me every time I lace up my fragrant, tri-colored alley shoes.


These trophies are for you, Mom and Walter

Movie Review: Baby Mama

Movie Review No Comments

Baby Mama (2008)–*1/2

Let’s take a cue from Amy Poehler’s SNL Weekend Update bit titled Really?

Really, Amy? Really? You thought this gig in a tepid, tedious comedy was right for your first starring role? Really? That’s like saying heroin is the choice painkiller for you first experience with child birth. And really, Tina Fey? Really? Baby Mama, a second-rate little comedy about a 37-year-old business woman looking to be a mom, is really the film you want to make after lampooning the same character on 30 Rock for two years? Really?

From Fey, a Saturday Night Live alumna, and Poehler, the sketch comedy show’s current leading lady, comes a comedy that is unacceptably unfunny. Oh, true, like any mainstream comedy, Baby Mama has its moments of unsatisfying laughter, but there’s this suspicion that we’ve been hoodwinked. How can two comediennes the caliber of Fey and Poehler end up in a film that’s as edgy and smart as a JC Penny clothing model?

Fey plays Kate Holbrook, a business woman in her late-30s who has spent her life climbing the corporate ladder and not having babies. Her legacy is in the mega health food stores she helped develop in trendy neighborhoods across the country. One day she wakes up and decides to have a baby. Adoption isn’t an option. Her fertility doctor says he doesn’t like her uterus. Kate’s only real option is surrogacy.

The best jokes in Baby Mama come when Kate meets with Chaffee Bicknell (Sigourney Weaver), the head of the surrogacy planning agency. “Chaffee Bicknell? I thought that was two people,” says Kate upon entering Chaffee’s office. It’s worth a solid chuckle. When Kate asks Chaffee if she’s going to outsource her pregnancy to a poor woman in the third world, and Chaffee writes down a note, we get a laugh line worthy of both Fey and Weaver.

Then Poehler enters the picture. Poehler plays Angie, the lower-class white woman from…ahem…a less affluent part of town. She’ll carry Kate’s baby. Poehler never really settles on making Angie a 100 percent comedic role or even a wholly sympathetic character, resulting in some terribly uneven comedic moments.

Fey, too, has trouble fitting into her role as Kate. She strains to be restrained and misses out on comedic gold. Moments where the class conflict could result in insightful belly laughs are turned into lines that are just, well, mean. Kate and Angie aren’t simply another odd couple, but the film settles on letting them be a mediocre Felix and Oscar.

By the end of the film, you kind of feel bad for Poehler and Fey. Instead of being in a film that was made for comedy fans, they’re stuck in a film made for the folks who watch Oprah. Sure, it may get the pair a wider audience then either one has ever seen, but the cost, losing comedic clout, may end up outweighing the benefit.

Baby Mama, starring Tina Fey, Amy Poehler, Sigourney Weaver, Greg Kinnear, Steve Martin, Romany Malco and Dax Shepard, directed by Michael McCullers, is in theaters now.  

schism Tonight

In the Lyons Den No Comments

Are you excited for John C. Lyons’ schism? nextel ringtones software download free ringtones cell phone download free ringtones sprint free cellular phone ringtones caller ringtones cell cricket free phone ringtones free samsung ringtones sitemap polyphonic ringtones cricket download free ringtones cricket ringtones cell cingular free phone ringtones cricket free ringtones cingular ringtones download new ringtones free free composer ringtones 3 free ringtones sidekick totally free ringtones free real music ringtones for nextel free yahoo ringtones I know I am. Okay, I already saw it, but I’m still pumped to see this Erie, Pa.-produced independent feature film with an audience. I want to see the reactions. I want to see it affect people.

If you’re looking for info on schism, you can check out my series In the Lyons Den. If you want to watch it, the film is screening at Edinboro University in Edinboro, Pa. tonight at 8 p.m. I’ll be the co-emcee for the post-screening Q&A, along with Eerie Horror Film Festival President Greg Ropp.

I was at the first day of casting, which was so long ago I can’t even remember when it happened. It’s a different feeling watching a movie that you know somewhat intimately. Part of me eagerly awaited some of the scenes I watched being filmed. Yet, schism still made me forget that I was watching a movie that was filmed so close to home. And those last 10 minutes. Freakin’ intense. Lyons has a little Aronofsky in him. Congrats to John, and a special congrats to Michael Best and Dorota Swies for the look of the film. And to Andy Flatley for his score. Well done.

The X Files: I Want to Heave

Movie Comment No Comments

Chris Carter, apparently taking a page out of George Lucas’ handbook “How to Piss Off You Fan Base: Episode I - The Revenge of the Phantom Subtitle,” revealed that “The X Files” sequel is going to be titled “The X Files: I Want to Believe.” You know that feeling you get when you’re about to make out with someone really hot only to find out they’re your second cousin. That’s what this feels like. Thanks Chris.

I was really looking forward to seeing something like “The X Files: Mulder and Scully Vs. The Werewolf.” Apparently the camp factor that helped the show in the early seasons, and disappeared with the conspiracy plot in the later seasons, is totally gone.  So much for high hopes.

Rethinking This Stange Little Blog

Personal Notes No Comments

I posted an entry on a little site formerly known as TheFilmChair.com saying that blog entries would cease. And they did. And it was good.

What can I say, though? I gots to write. I just threw on this little Wordpress theme and decided to come out once again. Note to readers: I know that most of you are my friends and family. (And friends and family LOVE to click on the Google ads above to fund this little venture.) I’m over droning on about movies and how wonderful they are and how they change your life and how Norbit should have won an Oscar. This will now be a normal everyday journal of my thoughts and reactions to the world around me.

Of course, my media intoxicated mind will most likely force me to ramble about movies and TV and, possibly, books on tape (because reading is hard). Yet, I feel compelled to not want to hate movies as much as this site started to make me hate them. Introducing TFC Journal. Yes, that’s TFC, which most of you assume stands for TheFilmChair because I’m too lazy and/or cheap to buy a new domain name and move to a new hosting company.  TFC goes back to a childhood playground of mine known as The Fun Closet. (Thanks, Father Pete.)

Now a word from our sponsor:

DVD Review: The Mist: Two-Disc Collector’s Edition

DVD Review No Comments

The Mist: Two-Disc Collector’s Edition–***1/2
DVD Review

If you saw Frank Darabont’s adaptation of Stephen King’s The Mist in theaters, whether you liked it or not, you need to pick up the DVD. If you haven’t seen this horror throwback, then you’d do well to skip right to disc two of this Collector’s Edition DVD set. The film, which was a respectable genre picture in its own right, gets a whole new life in DVD’s black & white presentation of the feature film.

Darabont introduces the black & white version of The Mist as his “director’s cut”, his original vision. And what an original vision it is. The film, which was full of genuinely terrifying moments, has a spookier feel. Some scenes—the opening sequence, a tentacle monster attack, a web-filled pharmacy scene, anything that happens in the mist—were made to be shot in black & white.

You can see the inspiration of 1950s/1960s sci-fi and horror films in this version of the film, which still follows a group of residents trapped inside a grocery store as a mist full of man-eating creatures engulfs their tiny New England town. Though the film could have also used a new score to go along with this new vision, the story of a small group of sane people who must survive a growing cult mentality fueled by the town’s self-proclaimed prophet still resonates. Only this time, it’s on a different, more appropriate plain.

Many other films have had multiple versions released over time. A director’s cut here. An extended final vision there. Kudos to The Weinstein Company for releasing this The MistDVD set with both versions of the film. We may also have lackluster box office results from the original theatrical run to thank, but either way, it’s rare for a DVD to offer so much in one release.

Special Features:
Exclusive Black & White Presentation of the Film
Collectible Booklet with Written Commentary by Darabont
8 Deleted Scenes with Optional Commentary
Audio Commentary with Writer/Director Darabont
When Darkness Came: The Making Of The Mist
Taming The Beast: Shooting Scene 35
Monsters Among Us: A Look At The Creature FX
The Horror Of It All: The Visual FX Of The Mist
Drew Struzan: Appreciation Of An Artist

Darabont’s intro to the black & white version courtesy of YouTube:

The Mist, directed by Frank Darabont and starring Thomas Jane and Marcia Gay Harden, is available Tuesday, March 26 on DVD.

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