Okay, I was a little miffed at the idea of a Scream 4, but I cannot even describe how monumentally screwed up this news is.  

That’s right. MTV is remaking Rocky Horror Picture Show.  

This has to stop. NOW.  There are certain things that are untouchable.  There are certain films that stay as they are forever.  Rocky Horror Picture Show one of them.  Hell, it isn’t even out of theaters.  It’s still playing across the country.  Here in the Cleve, Rocky Horror night is the first Saturday of ever month at the Cedar Lee. 

Not only is the idea of a remake just outrageous, it doesn’t even make sense.  This soulless, corporatized tripe from the network that broadcast Legally Blonde: The Musical (which I like, but…) will be Hot Topic of movie musicals.  Lonely, branded, posing pop trash.  Forget the call backs.  Forget the communal spirit of a RHPS crowd.  Forget the lingerie. Forget it all.  

Part of me wants not to be upset.  Like most basic cable programming, this telefilm will likely be lost down the line while RHPS is still playing in theaters. It’s a film I love to think the kids are willing to discover and embrace the way I did.

So, you know what you have to do creatures of the night.  Here’s an address to get you started. 

MTV Networks
c/o MTV Studios
1515 Broadway
New York, New York 10036

(Ironically, I got that address from a parents’ TV watchdog group.)

If you don’t want to see Janet played by Miley Cyrus, make some goddamn noise.  The article suggests a Halloween 2009 TV debut.  Not much time, but I’ll be damned if I live to see this bastardization of Rocky Horror Picture Show.